PIECE 010 - COLLECTION: BETWEEN TWO WORLDS

THE WHALE AND I

Easter Sunday. I miss her especially today.

I go to bed sad, asking her to visit me in my dreams.

That night, I have a strange dream. I am in the middle of the sea — it is winter and pitch dark. I can barely see anything.

It seems I have committed to throwing myself into the sea to retrieve a medicinal plant that will save someone.

I don't feel capable. I can see nothing. Everything is so dark that it makes no difference whether my eyes are open or closed.

I am filled with anguish because I know that no matter what, I will throw myself into that dark, dense sea — because it is my mother who is dying.

I wake up.

That morning I have a session with Patricia, and the moment I close my eyes, the image from the dream appears.

Me, in the middle of the sea, on a dark and sealed night. Now awake.

I decide to jump into the sea. I live through the panic of crossing a sea blind. I sink deeper and deeper.

I feel the physical sensations of water seeping into my wetsuit.

I see there is no turning back. The surface is already so far away.

I sink into the darkness. Everything is as black and dense as squid ink.

And I keep sinking. I know I will not come out of this alive.

So I close my eyes and bring my attention to my chest. I feel my heartbeat, strong.

And by listening to my heart, I stop being frozen by panic.

Suddenly, as I attend to the centre of my chest, I feel warmth — a gentle warmth like a loving embrace.

And then there is light. My heart becomes a lighthouse that begins to illuminate the ocean floor.

I am no longer afraid. I relish the opportunity of having made it this far.

I bear witness to the beauty hidden at the bottom of the sea — fish, plants, corals, colours I had never seen before.

And suddenly, before me appears a silhouette of such magnificence that it fills everything.

It is a whale. Despite its size, I am not afraid.

I can communicate with her without words. She too sees the light radiating from my chest.

I draw close. I rest my head against her back. And something magical happens.

We are one. I am one with her, with the water of the sea, with the planet, with the solar system, with the universe.

I understand that we are loving intelligence carried through water.

Everything in the Universe is one. You and I as well.